" Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5: 22-24. 
 This verse has been heavily on my heart lately, especially the last part, IN EVERYTHING. I normally do not have trouble or issues with allowing my husband to be the head of the house. Leader of our spiritual growth, but there has been a few things that have come up, that I have found myself struggle with.
For the sake of privacy I will not dive far into specific details on these things, but I will touch on a few. As most everyone who knows me knows, I have a crippling habit to be a people pleaser. I know that you can not always make everyone happy. But being who I am, I try anyway. I won't compromise my faith, family, or beliefs for this purpose, but if it is in my control to please someone and avoid conflict I will do it. I deeply try to avoid conflict with anyone, ESPECIALLY family. And if I find myself in a conflicting position with family, I always feel terrible and beat myself up over it, even though I know it's OK. Conflict can be a beneficial and growing tool between friends and family if the right attitude is taken. Another characteristic about me, is I am not a vengeful person. I do not find the need or urge to "pay someone back" for hurting or offending me. Now I am not saying that my husband is either of these things. However, something very special and personal to us was released into public knowledge without our consent. We weren't quite ready for the news to be out, but it happened and that's that. I was upset for a while. And when I tried to talk to the person about it, I felt like no responsibility was taken, and it was blamed on me. That I should have made that more clear, when in my head it would have been common sense. Again, what happened happened, and it was out.
I spoke with my husband one day about this, and he told me that he too tried to talk to the person about it, and pretty much felt shut out. Like what he was saying didn't matter and his feelings about the situation were minuscule and pointless. His feelings kept getting disregarded and my feelings took the priority, even though I was not apart of the conversation. The conversation hurt my husband, deeply. He is not usually one to discuss his "feelings" about anything, so when he does open up, it's a rare glimpse into his heart. That day he tried to show this person that glimpse and it went un-noticed or acknowledged. Therefore, my husband decided that the next bit of big news we had, we would not share with this specific individual, and they would learn the news "though the grapevine". Despite my inward screams to go against him on this, I stuck by him and his decision. It bothered me more than you will ever know, and deep down I knew that the outcome would not be beneficial to either party. I did talk to my husband about this, but he stuck to his guns. Now, here is where my struggle was. I wanted to support him. I knew that he had been hurt, and felt the need to make the point. But I was also being affected by his choices, and I was not comfortable with them. So what would you have done? Would you have told the person anyway? Would I have been an un-submissive wife if I were to do the opposite of what my husband had called me to do?
This may seem silly to you. But once the news got out, and this individual learned of the secret we were keeping, my feelings were deeply hurt by their reaction. I will admit it was mostly regret and guilt on my part. I do not blame them for being hurt or reacting the way they did either. It was a silly circumstance that I should brush off my shoulders, but like I said, I hate hurting or upsetting anyone. I feel torn.
I love both parties deeply. I am stuck in a situation to where I do not know if I should step in an explain our actions to the person, but that would mean I would have to speak for my husband, which I feel is not my place. And I know this may be confusing because I am not giving details, I just needed to vent a bit. Any feed back is welcome. Thanks for reading! I will have a more exciting post tomorrow!